


Blinding

by Makeyourbodyacanvas



Category: Norse Religion & Lore, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Norse Religion & Lore, Anger Management, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Denial of Feelings, Eren Yeager Has Heterochromia Iridum, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Kink Exploration, Long-Haired Eren Yeager, Possessive Behavior, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Praise Kink, References to Depression, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Self-Hatred, Size Kink, Slow Burn, Team as Family, Violent Thoughts, aggressive behavior
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:42:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25172557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makeyourbodyacanvas/pseuds/Makeyourbodyacanvas
Summary: The cataclysmic destruction of the cosmos and everything in it was near, and the one who was destined to bring about such devilry just wanted to read her books in peace.When humanity finds itself on the brink of extinction, Heidi Vanadís is forced to put her godly powers to the test in order to survive, all the while she tries to avoid the destiny she never wanted. Fate puts her in the path of the infamous Titan-Shifter Eren Yeager, who seems to be the only person in the world who understands her. But neither of them are looking for companionship. No matter how hard they try, however, an apprehensive relationship does form between them. But Heidi unwittingly draws more danger from both the gods and men, ultimately finding herself pitied against her worst enemy. With time running out she must decide if she will stand with the people who abandoned her for the sake of her very life, or the ones she has come to love like family.
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Original Female Character(s), Eren Yeager/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Blinding

**Author's Note:**

> Old Norse was the language spoken by the Vikings, and the language in which the Eddas, sagas, and most of the other primary sources for our current knowledge of Norse mythology were written. For more information, please click here. 
> 
> If you haven’t watched Episode 11 of Season 3, or not caught up with the manga, then you may stumble upon some spoilers.

**_850_ **

**_Training Corps, Wall Rose, Miðgarðr_ **

“Heidi!”

The shout disturbed the stillness of the afternoon, too loud and too irritated. Heidi, who had been hiding out in the trees ever since the early morning, had winced when the high-pitched voice assaulted her sensitive ears. She had been contently reading a book, lounging against the highest branch, using the leaves as a form of cover. She had been so engrossed with what she had been reading that she failed to hear Vinessa’s lumbering footsteps. Still, the instructor couldn’t see Heidi so far up, so she didn’t worry. She peered down to see Vinessa scoping the yard.

“Heidi!” The instructor shouted again. Her normally light and bubbly face was now red and frowning. Wrinkles were starting to form on her forehead. Heidi had been the cause of them ever since she became a cadet. “I know you’re out here! I’ve checked everywhere else! What makes you so special that you think you can skip training?”

Heidi rolled her eyes and went back to her book. She never said that she was special—that had been Vinessa and the other cadets—but that didn’t mean Heidi was blind to the fact that she was just naturally better than all of them. 

“You egotistical pain in the ass!” Vinessa stomped around the yard, looking high and low, but she never spotted Heidi. “I know you can hear me. When I find you, you’ll be running laps around the whole perimeter until you collapse!”

Her voice started to drift away. Heidi glanced from her book for a split second to watch Vinessa admit defeat and go back into the mess hall. 

Taking in the silence, Heidi was able to get lost in the book again and let her body slump against the bark of the tree. 

_ Well, that was entertaining _ , Heidi thought to herself.  _ Nessa probably has a bug up her ass since I bested her at maneuvering the ODM gear again.  _

Heidi smirked, remembering the look of sheer embarrassment and rage on the older girl’s face. Heidi couldn’t help herself, though—flying ran through her veins. 

She would rather take to the sky without the ODM gear, but she had a cover to maintain, unfortunately. While the gear was convenient for humans, it did nothing except restrict Heidi from touching the clouds. And she could fly for hours, literally keeping her head in the clouds with no worries. She knew it was an ability inherited from her mother, but she didn’t dwell on the fact for too long. Instead she debated if she was going to make herself scarce and hide out in the library until dinner. At least there she could sit down at one of the tables without having to hide. None of the cadets went into the library; Heidi swore it was starting to collect dust. 

Books were her safe haven. She could read dozens of stories a day and never grow tired of flipping page after page. Of course, her ability to read had raised some eyebrows from her comrades. She was from the Underground—the murky, cold, dimly lit subterranean city that laid beneath the innermost land in the capital city of Mitras—where people didn’t concern themselves with reading when it was more important to learn how to survive. All they had to worry about was feeding themselves, keeping their clothes mended, and patching up whatever rundown shack they call home. And while Heidi hadn’t been born there, it had been the only place she was able to call home for almost two decades. 

Life in the Underground had been simple, just like the people who lived there. And in that simpleton environment, Heidi thrived and lived her best life. The people down there had known something wasn’t natural about her, and stayed clear of her as best as they could, because down there people actually had a lot more common sense than others believed. It was those who lived above ground who were the stupid ones. They were too complex, too spoiled, too soft. It was a miracle that they hadn’t been eradicated by the giants centuries ago. 

Finishing the last chapter of the book, Heidi jumped down from the tree, landing in a crouched position—right in front of Commandant Shadis’s boots.

Heidi stood up, moving back so she wasn’t so close to him and hugged the book to her chest. The aging, bald headed instructor stared at Heidi with his dark eyes.

“Going somewhere, Vanadís?”

“Yes,” Heidi said, casually resting one foot against the tree like she hadn’t just been caught by the Commandant. 

Shadis was tall and intimidating, with wrinkles on his forehead and dark circles around his haunted eyes. He had a small beard growing under his chin. His presence alone was enough to scare the toughest people into submission, but Heidi had always silently respected the man. Whether it was for his no bullshit type of attitude, or the rumors going around that he could chop a tree in half with just his bare hands, Heidi didn’t know. She liked him enough; he reminded her of some of the people she had grown up around—imposing, strict and frightening. He shouts and commands so much at the top of his lungs that Heidi was surprised he hadn’t lost his voice.

“I was going to the library,” she continued, and Shadis raised one of his dark eyebrows with patient amusement. He would never admit it out loud, but Heidi knew that Shadis liked her enough, too. So there was no point in lying. “None of the idiots ever go there.”

Shadis was the only person above ground who had enough common sense to gather that Heidi wasn’t who and what she said she was. But he never questioned her.

Shadis remained impassive. “I don’t enjoy listening to Barnes whine about her incompetence to find you. But the library will have to wait,” he said without sounding angry at all. “Someone’s here to see you. Follow me.”

He turned and started around the mess hall, heading towards one of the empty lodges. Heidi pushed off the tree and followed suit, the book now swinging at her side as the sounds of people training grew closer. They strolled passed the training grounds, and Heidi shot Vinessa a mocking smile with a little wave. She had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing at the older girl’s incensed facial expression. 

As she continued to follow Shadis, a raven landed on her shoulder, squawking in her ear. People had grown accustomed to Heidi’s affinity towards birds, especially for falcons and ravens. They flocked to her like she was one of their own, making themselves comfortable on her person or near her. Some of the more childish cadets called her Bird Girl, but she supposed that was a nicer nickname compared to what they would call her behind her back when they thought she couldn’t hear. 

The raven squawked again, and Heidi heard what it was saying as if it could talk like a human being. A harsh, grating sound came from the bird, telling her about all the information it had seen and heard since the early morning. It rambled for a time, just sharing the news with her, when it started to talk about her father’s innermost thoughts. 

If Heidi ever passed her father on the street, she would never recognize him. She had never seen a photograph or painting of him, and she had no mental memory of him to cling to. She at least could say there was a scratched, dusted memory of her mother, but that was over thirteen years ago—and Heidi was okay with all of it.

Although she didn’t know her parents, she knew her uncle, her mother’s brother, quite well. Her uncle had told her the story, and, as it turned out, her father plainly told her mother that he hadn’t wanted her. Surprisingly, being told that her father wanted nothing to do with her didn’t have the detrimental effect Heidi assumed it should have. She never felt incomplete or abandoned by half of her genetics; she didn’t feel the need to find herself in him. She didn’t need him (nor her mother if she was going to be completely honest) because she had already made it so far and was more than okay.

The raven gave a shrill cry, calling her name to regain Heidi’s attention. She then made a low, gurgling croak to shush the raven. 

The raven’s name was Muninn. He was one of the two ravens her father sent out everyday to fly all over Miðgarðr to bring back information. The other raven, whose name was Huginn, loved to wonder about and Heidi knew her father worried that he might not return. He worried more about Muninn, though. Muninn always sought out Heidi when he was free to fly, perching himself on her shoulder just to talk to her. What would begin as a conversation of trivial things would quickly turn into her father’s daily, frequent thoughts. Heidi would let Muninn talk for a while, but she would stop him when he started to bring up her father. She didn’t need to know what her father thought of her.

Muninn, who hated being interrupted, ruffled his feathers. He even rolled his eyes, a human habit he picked up from Heidi. 

Shadis brought her to a familiar corridor, and then to an even more familiar room. It was small and neat, empty except for a long table that could sit at least ten people. The door creaked open, and a man who had been gazing out the window turned his head in their direction. 

Heidi sighed when she stepped into the room, Muninn taking off with an irritated squawk. 

The man smiled when he saw her. “Heiðr!”

Heiðr was her real name, and it meant bright. It was the name her mother used when she had infiltrated her father’s homelands. No one in Miðgarðr could pronounce it correctly, so she went by Heidi. 

“Uncle Freyr,” she said, lingering near the door. She was well aware of Shadis standing behind her. “What are you doing here?”

“I come bearing news and a gift,” her uncle said merrily. His stormy blue eyes—the same colored blue as his twin sister, and as Heidi’s right eye—then fell on Shadis. “Thank you for fetching my niece, sir.”

Shadis said nothing in return, choosing to look down at Heidi instead. “Yell if you need me,” he informed her. He then walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. 

Freyr sat down in a chair, a smile still on his fair face. He always looked out of place upon Miðgarðr; his unbelievable beauty and might was not something the humans were used to. 

“How are you?” He asked, as he always did when he visited.

Heidi’s answer was always the same, too. She was fine. 

Freyr hummed, eyes gazing at her face. “You’ve grown again. You look so much like your mother.”

He loved commenting on the resemblance between Heidi and her mother, even though Heidi didn’t think it was there. She didn’t look much like her mother. And, quite frankly, she didn’t want to. It was hard to not cringe when Freyr said they looked alike—and he said it every time he saw her. Heidi knew her mother’s flaws, both emotional and physical; she knew her weaknesses, her history, and the parts of her face Heidi had not inherited and would never want to. 

Her mother was a fair beauty, and Heidi was not. She was all sharp edges and jagged pieces of glass waiting to cut into someone’s flesh while her mother was like soft rose petals and gave away her love because people desired her. 

If Freyr noticed her cringe, which he probably did, he never commented on it. Instead, he said, “Muninn has grown attached to you.”

“He likes to talk,” Heidi said. 

“Ah, I see; he talks and you listen.”

Heidi just stared at her uncle, unblinking. She hated it when he tried to make small talk. 

Freyr’s smile didn’t waver, but his eyes softened. He wished his niece was more sociable and opened with him—he was family after all, but he couldn’t blame Heiðr. They had subjected her to live amongst the humans, away from her family, even if it was for her own good. Her cold shoulder didn’t hurt any less, though.

“Your mother sends her love,” Freyr said, starting every conversation with that even though it didn’t make a difference to Heidi. “She also saw some things that she thinks you should know about.”

“Like what?” Heidi asked. She never did like her mother meddling in her life. 

While Heidi herself was also a well versed seiðr, she was no master like her parents. But she also liked to live in the moment; a very human outlook, she knew, but she liked the sentiment of it. 

“Soon these humans will break free,” her uncle said, practically giddy at the thought. “And your mother saw you amongst them. You are their key. Not even the descendants of the human Ymir will be able to stop you. Whatever happens will be astounding.”

Heidi raised a brow. “Is that all?” Not to sound conceited, but everything Heidi did in Miðgarðr was jaw dropping. 

“Times are changing, Heiðr, and you are part of the catalyst.” 

And that was exactly why her father didn’t want her. Heidi’s birth hadn’t been something to celebrate, it had been something to fear—and that’s precisely what happened. Her father and his people considered her a bad omen, and so they had wanted her dead before she had even taken her first breath. Heidi’s mother, being her usual stubbornness, had been completely against the decision. Heidi could say many things about her mother, but she could never question the woman’s love for her. It was part of the reason she made the biggest sacrifice and sent Heidi to live in Miðgarðr, where she would be safe. 

Freyr reached inside a pocket of his jacket, searching for something. “Like usual, your mother, the crypt woman that she is, didn’t tell me everything. She did, however, give me this.”

On the tip of his pointer finger was Brísingamen, her mother’s controversial necklace. It was a choker of gold incised with wondrous patterns, a marvel of fluid metal twisting and weaving and writhing.

It was a beautiful, breathtaking piece of jewelry, but Heidi never understood why her mother desired it.

“She wants you to have it,” Freyr explained when Heidi made no move to touch it.

Heidi eyed Brísingamen like it would harm her. “Why?”

“Because it was always yours, Heiðr.” Freyr gingerly took Heidi’s unwilling, limp hand and turned it so her palm was facing the ceiling. He then laid Brísingamen in her hand. There was an unnatural warmth to it that Heidi was unsure of. “I cannot tell you everything because I don’t fully understand why my sister has done the things she has. But, I do know one thing—your mother loves you deeply, Heiðr. There is nothing she wouldn’t do for you. She has faced many hardships and cruelty, but she would do it all again because she has you.”

Heidi masked a sigh. She caught an image of herself in Brísingamen, and something else that disappeared just as quickly as she saw it. Her uncle watched her and stayed quiet, a feat she hadn’t thought possible for him. For a moment, he just sat there, eyes suddenly displaying his ancient age, and it felt like he was staring through her to see into her soul.

“What do  _ you _ see?” He asked, finally breaking the silence.

Heidi kept her focus on Brísingamen. Her reflection gazed back up at her through the golden metal; a gracile girl of sixteen summers. Deep auburn, board line black, hair reflecting flashes of the fires on the brocken. She had an odd birthmark due to the fact that some of the hair on her forehead was so blonde it was almost white. She wore the standard Training Corps uniform. Her hair was pulled back tightly, out of her way. At first glance, she appeared to be a normal girl, ragged and hardened, ready to become a soldier. She could have passed as a peasant girl, seemingly holding the most expensive piece of jewelry she’d ever have the luxury to see.

If one were to look closer, however, then they would notice that she was  _ different _ —in the sense that they wouldn’t have been able to figure out what she was. Her beauty was otherworldly, but she had a certain cunningness to her that could easily turn berserk if one knew how to push her buttons. And while she knew humans could possess her peculiar eye coloring mutation, she had never met one. Her right eye was a stormy blue that reflected the Northern seas, and her left was a pale blue that was the same color as the sky on a bright winter’s day. 

“I see myself,” Heidi said, obviously not in the mood for games. It was quite clear now her uncle wasn’t here on a social call. “Just as I’ve always seen myself. I see  _ me _ .”

_ Me.  _ A Goddess. Rather, the Goddess of Destruction, to be more accurate. Within Heidi layed a destructive force—something raw, untamed, and unadulterated with the strength of nature. So similar to the jötnar (the devourers, giants, or as humans called them, Titans), yet so different. Maybe it was because she was three-quarters jötunn like her older half-siblings, or maybe it was because her existence alone symbolizes destruction, entropy, and decay; the one who will usher in Ragnarök. Her father and the other Æsir Gods and Goddesses knew that unlike the jötnar, they wouldn’t be able to keep Heidi at bay, so they sought to annihilate her. To them she had no value. Paradoxically, her unique force of entropy wasn’t deemed necessary for the flourishing, and even the very existence, of the cosmos.

Or so her uncle said. He had never seen the gain in lying, and maintained an honest relationship with her as much as he could. They called her very existence a calamity, a catastrophe waiting to unleash itself, the harbinger of death. Her uncle spoke little of the Æsir, however, the hostility was still so fresh. 

Heidi glanced at her uncle, wondering if he would say anything else about the matter. If he perhaps knew more than he was letting on. He had danced around her questions many times in the past, and none of his answers—about her birth, her parents, why she was training to become a soldier, or even about her fate—ever satisfied her. She always found herself back at square one, determined to get the answers one way or another. 

“How is your training progressing?” Her uncle changed the subject just like that. He probably could see the questions practically billowing around in her head.

“Fine, uncle.”

That seemed to please him enough. “Let’s stretch our legs some. Shall we?”

Heidi hesitated. This was new. Her uncle had never stayed longer than needed to deliver her mother’s message. Something  _ was  _ coming. She could taste it in the air, feel it deep within her bones. Her uncle’s odd behavior certainly didn’t help calm her nerves. And maybe it was just her imagination, but she could’ve swore Brísingamen grew increasingly warmer in her hands. 

She fell into step beside her uncle, and he kindly shortened his due to her shorter limbs. Leaves fell from the trees around them, signaling the quick arrival of autumn, and a reddish-brown one landed gently in her palm when she held her hand out. 

She twirled it between her fingers and thumb. There was a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. Despite being a child born during the beginning of the summer solstice (hence her name), Heidi always had a deep love and appreciation for fall. Though temperatures were still warm during the day, summer was finally coming to an end. The leaves had begun to turn colors and fall to the ground, and there was a chill in the evening air. The days were longer than the nights until this moment, and after this the nights would begin to rule over the sky.

Maybe it was because it was a time rich in magic, all connected to the changing seasons of the earth. For as long as Heidi could remember, magic always came naturally to her, a gift that could have only been inherited from her parents. Even as a young toddler Heidi had shown impressive performances, a master of seiðr in her own right. And while she wasn’t a völva—a professional or semi professional practitioner of seiðr—like her mother, she knew many rituals for divination and clairvoyance; for seeking out the hidden, both in the secrets of the mind and in physical locations; for healing the sick; for bringing good luck; for controlling the weather; for calling game animals and fish. On the other hand, Heidi also knew how to make it useful for an opposite effect, like to curse an individual or an enterprise; to blight the land and make it barren; to induce illness; to tell false futures and thus to set the recipients on a road to disaster; to injure, maim and kill, in domestic disputes and especially in battle. The spiritual core of seiðr was inseparable from nature. Therefore, to deny that characteristic elements of seiðr could only be used as a positive would be very much a blatant lie. 

Heidi didn’t have much reason to use seiðr for its more negative aspects, however. No matter how much the other cadets may annoy her, she didn’t think their actions and words should be met with ill intentions from her end. And while she may have used it for more mischievous reasons from time to time, she knew that her uncle trusted her. So she tried not to give into temptation. His confidence in her meant more than she would ever admit, even to herself. Even though she struggled with her more ….poor choices, she resisted cursing Vinessa, or injuring a fellow cadet when they repeatedly messed up a lesson, or affecting someone’s mind by illusion, madness, forgetfulness or other means. To sedate her urges, she turned to harmless pranks. No one could trace it back to her, though. 

_ It’s better that way _ , Heidi mused as she continued to twiddle with the leaf.  _ Least they start another witch hunt. _

The sun started to dye everything in gold. Heidi’s hair whipped into her eyes as it was carried by the brisk autumn breeze. As the newly chilled air moved the clouds, Heidi inhaled deeply and smelled the fragrance of earth, soft after the washing of the rain and a sweet and steady sense of joy filled her. A single golden leaf twisted down an invisible spiral staircase of breeze, spinning through the air as it let itself be carried down. It shook slightly, as if it was going to be whisked away any second by the suddenness of the cool wind, but it kept floating down its curlicue course. It blew past her face and landed lightly on the ground. The shiny, vibrant color stood out against the ambers and bronzes beneath it. It was so delicate; Heidi wanted to reach down and pick it up and smooth out any creases, but something told her that it belonged there. She sighed, relishing in the feeling. 

Freyr chuckled as he watched her and he couldn’t help but admire her beauty. “You’ve always had an affinity for the Harvest End, haven’t you?” He asked, although Heidi knew he didn’t need an answer. “I always like to tease my sister about it. Sometimes I think you were born in the wrong season.”

“Hm, do you think so? I’ve never been too fond of Thrimilci. I feel like it is more my mother’s season than it is mine.” Releasing the leaf still in her possession, Heidi watched as it joined the others gathering on the ground. 

Before Thrimilci, there was the festival of Walpurgis, a night known both for revelry and darkness. The nine nights were venerated as remembrance of Óðinn’s self-sacrifice on Yggdrasill. It was on the ninth night, Walpurgisnacht, that he beheld the Runes, grasped them, and ritually died for an instant. At that moment, all the Light in the Nine Worlds was extinguished, and utter Chaos reigned. At the final stroke of midnight, the Light returned in dazzling brilliance, and the bale-fires were lit. Ironically, Heidi was born on the festival of Thrimilci—the beginning of summer, and the time to celebrate the blossoming of the land, its vibrancy and fertility, and by extension it was a holiday that also celebrated people’s own vibrancy, fertility, and sexuality. Those three aspects certainly were a few things that were associated with her mother. 

“Sixteen years,” Freyr said tenderly all of a sudden. Heidi craned her neck to gaze up at him. He had a wistful look upon his face. “Sixteen years ago you were born. I remember holding your mother’s hand as she brought you into the world, and then you were placed in my hands as my elves tended to Freyja. They sang to you, you know?”

Heidi could fairly remember the words, as impossible as it seemed. One never forgot when the elves blessed them with their gift of song. 

_ “May it be an evening star, shines down upon you. May it be when darkness falls, your heart will be true. You walk a lonely road. Oh, how far you are from home. Mornië utúlië. Believe and you will find your way. Mornië alantië. A promise lives within you now. May it be the shadows call ....” _

Heidi listened as her uncle hummed the tune, actually clinging to his words since he rarely spoke of her birth. Her mother had wept tears of utter happiness, breathing her name like it was the most sacred of prayers. Her father, of course, had been absent. Heidi had a suspicion that her uncle had cried too, but he just conveniently omitted the fact. 

She had been born in Vanaheimr, the home of her mother’s people. She didn’t remember any of the true, important details, but she had vivid dreams ever since she had been a toddler. Everything had been bright and beautiful. Castles, soaring superstructures, and humble abodes all overlooked living, moving bodies of water that surrounded magical forests. The seemingly endless falls permeated the air with spray and fog. Wooden and natural walkways and trails spun around and across the lakes. She had somehow known those trails by heart. She somehow had memorized all the flowers that had lined the trails, too, like a favorite bedtime story. She dreamt of pastures, dark forests, but nothing would last in her memories. None of it would stay clear.

“Sixteen years have passed,” her uncle continued. He shook his head in disbelief. Time certainly had escaped him, immortal or not. “Sixteen years, and I’ve watched you grow into such a beautiful, intelligent young woman. My sister’s impossible child. You’ve always known what you are—it was never kept hidden from you. Yet I have witnessed a compassion in you that is neither godly nor mortal. I know that you struggle, that the dark forces residing within you are equally as strong as the goodness that you try so hard to balance. Just know, whatever fate is chosen for you, your mother and I will always be beside you. You will never have to question our dearest affections for you.”

Heidi internally scoffed at her uncle’s promise. How could he swear such a thing? Almost all beings were subject to fate—even the gods themselves. Surely, if he and her mother were fated to turn against her as well, then nothing could be done about it. 

But she still nodded her head and looked upon him as though she had when she was a child. “I believe you, uncle.”

With a halfhearted chuckle, Freyr shook his head at her. “I know you do not believe me, Heiðr,” he said. “I wish you would, but that’s alright. I didn’t come here today to work on your trust issues.” His eyes twinkled with unadulterated mirth that should’ve looked unnatural to someone of his height and stature. 

“You are not a child anymore, and the world around you is changing rapidly,” he carried on. He eyed Brísingamen resting in her shirtpocket. “I believe you’re old enough to know the real reason why your mother wanted Brísingamen so desperately.”

Heidi narrowed her eyes and, against her skin, she felt Brísingamen warm up again. “The real reason?” She hadn’t liked the sound of that. “So it isn’t just some gift from her then?”

“Of course it is,” Uncle Freyr said, dismissing her speculation. “As I said earlier, it has always been yours. But Brísingamen isn’t just some ordinary necklace. Ragnarök is fast approaching I believe, and your fate will soon be revealed.”

* * *

_  
Someday—whenever the Nornir, those female beings who create and control fate, decree it—there shall come a Great Winter unlike any other the world has yet seen. The biting winds will blow snow from all directions, and the warmth of the sun will fail, plunging the earth into unprecedented cold. This winter shall last for the length of three normal winters, with no summers in between. Mankind will become so desperate for food and other necessities of life that all laws and morals will fall away, leaving only the bare struggle for survival. It will be an age of swords and axes; brother will slay brother, father will slay son, and son will slay father. _

_ The wolves Sköll and Hati, who have hunted the sun and the moon through the skies since the beginning of time, will at last catch their prey. The stars, too, will disappear, leaving nothing but a black void in the heavens. Yggdrasill, the great tree that holds the cosmos together, will tremble, and all the trees and even the mountains will fall to the ground. The chain that has been holding back the monstrous wolf Fenrir will snap, and the beast will run free. Jörmungandr, the mighty serpent who dwells at the bottom of the ocean and encircles the land, will rise from the depths, spilling the seas over all the earth as he makes landfall. _

_ These convulsions will shake the ship Naglfar (“Nail Ship”) free from its moorings. This ship, which is made from the fingernails and toenails of dead men and women, will sail easily over the flooded earth. Its crew will be an army of jötnar, the forces of chaos and destruction. And its captain will be none other than Loki, the traitor to the gods, who will have broken free of the chains in which the gods have bound him. _

_ Fenrir, with fire blazing from his eyes and nostrils, will run across the earth, with his lower jaw on the ground and his upper jaw against the top of the sky, devouring everything in his path. Jörmungandr will spit his venom all over the world, poisoning land, water, and air alike. _

_ The dome of the sky will be split, and from the crack shall emerge the fire-giants from Múspellsheimr. Their leader shall be Surtr, with a flaming sword brighter than the sun in his hand. As they march across Bifröst, the rainbow bridge to Ásgarðr, the home of the gods, the bridge will break and fall behind them. An ominous horn blast will ring out; this will be Heimdallr, the divine sentry, blowing the Gjallarhorn to announce the arrival of the moment the gods have feared. Óðinn will anxiously consult the head of Mímir, the wisest of all beings, for counsel. _

_ The gods will decide to go to battle, even though they know what the prophecies have foretold concerning the outcome of this clash. They will arm themselves and meet their enemies on a battlefield called Vígríðr, Plain Where Battle Surges. _

_ Óðinn will fight Fenrir, and by his side will be the einherjar, the host of his chosen human warriors whom he has kept in Valhöll for just this moment. Óðinn and the champions of men will fight more valiantly than anyone has ever fought before. But it will not be enough. Fenrir will swallow Óðinn and his men. Then one of Óðinn’s sons, Víðarr, burning with rage, will charge the beast to avenge his father. On one of his feet will be the shoe that has been crafted for this very purpose; it has been made from all the scraps of leather that human shoemakers have ever discarded, and with it Víðarr will hold open the monster’s mouth. Then he will stab his sword through the wolf’s throat, killing him. _

_ Another wolf, Garmr, and the god Týr will slay each other. Heimdallr and Loki will do the same, putting a final end to the trickster’s treachery, but costing the gods one of their best in the process. The god Freyr and the giant Surtr will also be the end of each other. Thor and Jörmungandr, those age-old foes, will both finally have their chance to kill the other. Thor will succeed in felling the great snake with the blows of his hammer. But the serpent will have covered him in so much venom that he will not be able to stand for much longer; he will take nine paces before falling dead himself and adding his blood to the already-saturated soil of Vígríðr. _

_ Then the remains of the world will sink into the sea, and there will be nothing left but the void. Creation and all that has occurred since will be completely undone, as if it had never happened. _

_ Some say that that is the end of the tale—and of all tales, for that matter. But others hold that a new world, green and beautiful, will arise out of the waters. Víðarr and a few other gods—Váli, Baldr, Höðr, and Thor’s sons Modi and Magni—will survive the downfall of the old world, and will live joyously in the new one. A man and a woman, Líf (“Life”) and Lífþrasir (“Striving after Life”), will have hidden themselves from the cataclysm in a place called the “Wood of Hoddmimir”, and will now come out and populate the lush land in which they will find themselves. A new sun, the daughter of the previous one, will rise in the sky. And all of this will be presided over by a new, almighty ruler. _

_ (Within the entirety of chaos and prosperity, Heidi did not know how she was the beginning of it all—nor if she would survive.) _

* * *

Silence covered Heidi and her uncle after he finished with the explanation of what Brísingamen really was. Heidi stood there, rooted in place, with a look of concentration lining her face as deep wrinkles appeared in her forehead. Her uncle waited patiently.

“You don’t understand still, do you?”

“I do,” Heidi protested. Freyr waited for her again. “It’s a collar so you can keep track of me, to control me. Like I’m some fucking pet—or a monster.”

Her uncle said nothing, only staring at her with gentle eyes. If he was wounded by her accusations, he did not show it. He just waited for her anger to subside, knowing that her judgement was slightly clouded due to it. 

“It will help me control my powers,” Heidi repeated, sneering at nothing in particular with disdain. “And, do tell, uncle, how will it do that without controlling  _ me _ ? Our abilities are not separate from us, they  _ are _ us. We are one with them.” She took a breath, frowning. “So …. _ why _ do I need to be the one controlled? I have never harmed anyone, you know that. Surely that must count for something in my case. Can’t I continue on like I always have?”

“Brísingamen is not a collar meant to control you, Heiðr,” Freyr said once she had ceased ranting. “It is meant to help you—to help you be more powerful than you’ve ever been without the consequence of losing yourself. It is meant to help you concentrate your powers and achieve whatever goal you’re looking to complete.”

“So, this means ….I don’t have to worry about destroying something or someone by accident?”

“Now you’re getting it!” Freyr said, genuine excitement making his voice carry across the empty yard. “There’s no need to carry on how you’ve been, Heiðr. You can put your worries to rest. And now you may have as much leniency as you want, but do remember that it is not all fun and games. Your mother isn’t against cursing Brísingamen as a punishment if you were to become insouciant because of it. But never forget—above all else—that  _ you  _ control it. Not the other way around.”

“I control it?” Heidi blinked, eyes slightly too big for her face and head cocking to the side. She took a moment to wrap her mind around the fact. She could have only dreamed of this moment. Yet Heidi knew better, knew that nothing was given for free. “At what price? There’s always a catch.”

_ Especially when it comes to family. _

Freyr raised one eyebrow at her, a silent indication that she could figure it out herself. And as she glared at her uncle—so tired of the games being played—Brísingamen all of the sudden felt like it was weighing down the shirt pocket. The pieces clicked into place almost instantly. Brísingamen was a necklace, or a choker to be more precise. She plucked it from its confines and glanced over it as it sparkled in the setting sun. 

“I have to wear it,” Heidi guessed. “It’s useless otherwise, a regular necklace or not. That’s the catch.”

“Always,” Freyr said with an aloof look about him. “You must always wear it. Brísingamen cannot work unless it is constantly on your person. More preferably around your neck, where it belongs.”

“That ….isn’t  _ too  _ unreasonable,” Heidi said. “It could be worse if I really think about it.”

“You and Brísingamen are linked the same way like Thor and Mjöllnir, an attribute that symbolizes both the deity and the power they embody,” her uncle explained further now. “Twice Loki has tried to steal the necklace, and even though each time was thwarted, he would have never accomplished anything. Brísingamen only responds to its rightful owner. But you  _ must  _ accept it, Heiðr, you absolutely must. You know very well that our possessions are no mere inanimate objects. Just like us, they have a mind of their own and can be prone to mood swings if tampered with. Brísingamen will serve you well and true, but only if you trust it.”

A knot of trepidation twisted in her stomach, even as she nodded her head. “I understand, uncle.”

“I know I will not survive to see what will come, but I am certain that you will be amongst those who will persist afterwards.” Freyr’s expression was pleasant, with an inkling of wistfulness, while the soft glimmer of his lucid eyes betrayed the anger and the foreboding. “I feel it in my very soul that the end draws nearer each and every day. And I would be a fool not to fear it, but it gives me a sense of relief to know that you and your mother will be able to start anew. You just need to start believing in yourself.”

Heidi had nothing to say; she never did learn how to handle her uncle’s bouts of sentiments. Something flashed beneath the surface of his hardened expression and Heidi dared to investigate the sudden shift. It was too late, though, the emotion disappeared before she could identify it.

“I apologize, Heiðr. I didn’t intend for this to be so low in spirits,” her uncle said with a sudden smile that appeared when Heidi blinked. “And I should be taking my leave now. I believe you have a big day ahead of you tomorrow.” One eye closed in a wink as he pulled her into an awkward embrace for his goodbye. “I hope I get to visit you soon. Seeing you is something I greatly look forward to.”

Freyr released Heidi, and before he left, he looked over his shoulder to take one last look at her. Heidi did the same. She never knew when she would see him next, although he was never changing. With one last smile too bright and too beautiful for the world, he was gone. Vanished completely and without a trace, like a silvery mist had leached out his coloring, turning everything about him the same stony grey as a rock, before he had all but been erased and removed from the landscape around her.

_ “....only if you trust it….” _

Heidi felt the chill of uneasiness run up her spine. Why could she still hear his voice so loud and clear in her mind? Heidi knew that her uncle wasn’t being completely transparent with her, his somewhat cryptic words proving as such. She just wished she could decipher it all. She had always perceived it to be a blessing and a curse that her future was never clear. Of course she had wondered about it. There was only so much of the mundane that could distract her. She silently hoped each time her uncle had visited her that he would deem her old enough, or wise enough, or maybe even brave enough to know everything. Did her mother, and by extension her uncle, know her path? Were they slowly preparing her for what was to come in their own tedious way?

Heidi exhaled slowly.  _ He sounded so sure that I would make it out alive in the end. Has my mother seen something? It’d be just like her to make it all so mysterious and aggravating than it already is.  _ Heidi caught her bottom lip between her teeth, thinking back to when her uncle had collected her from the Underground and brought her to the world above permanently. It hadn’t been her first time in the surface world, of course. She seemed to be rebellious by nature, never liking rules and regulations that would chain her in any way, shape, or form. And unlike the majority of her comrades, she had seen the beasts that lurked just outside the walls. She had ventured out and seen the whole, wide world as her uncle frantically chased her down to bring her back. She knew she was meant to do something here with these people—for these ignorant people. But what? Why else would she be kept here, caged, when there were so many other places she could have been kept hidden away in?

_ “Your mother has her reasons, Heiðr,”  _ is exactly what her uncle would say. Is exactly what he had said time and time again. 

Scrunching her nose up in habit, Heidi turned and leisurely made her way to the library. She tried to force herself to forget all about her uncle’s words today. She was strong, and of course they would search for ways to keep her in check. It was only natural to fear what one could not control. She was death and destruction and the entire cosmos’s end wrapped up in the body of a teenage girl who knew too much. Besides, she did look forward to taking some of her frustration and anger out on the mindless giants roaming about.

She closed the door behind her once she made it to the library, thankful that she hadn’t ran into anyone. She skimmed her fingers along the spine of the books as she tried to distract herself from the heaviness settling on her chest. The feeling that something was coming grew slowly as the night progressed. The world as she and everyone else knew it was about to change. And Heidi had a strong inkling that she was powerless to stop it. 

_ It doesn’t matter. If whatever comes is meant to pass then it’ll do just that. You know nothing can stop fate, idiot.  _ Heidi huffed to herself. She felt ridiculous, if not a little crazy, as her mind reprimanded her.  _ There’s no point to dwell on it. It’ll do me no good. _

Ambivalent, Heidi nestled her body onto a rickety, wooden chair situated in the far back corner underneath the window. With tired eyes she opened the book about the history of the three Walls once more. She did enjoy the fabrication that the 145th King of Eldia wasn’t a total screw up, and that he didn’t ruin his empire by weakening it to let Marley, the nation long oppressed by Eldia, conquer it and take back their land. She also liked the flare of theatrics by erasing the memories of the outside world from most of his subject’s minds, and also changing his family name from Fritz to Reiss. 

By the time midnight had rolled around, Heidi had read six more books and missed dinner again. Shadis would more than likely be on her ass about that. He was always nagging about her skipping meals, even though she swore it wasn’t on purpose. 

As she quietly returned to her lodging, Heidi inspected Brísingamen one last time. It was a beautiful piece of jewelry, and she was certain if she just left it out by her bedside for all to see then there would be multiple stealing attempts.

At least, that’s what she reasoned with herself as she fastened the choker securely around her neck. 

**Author's Note:**

> I am in no connection with Attack on Titan (進撃の巨人 Shingeki no Kyojin) the manga, or the animated series adapted from the manga of the same title by Hajime Isayama. 
> 
> The song mentioned is May it Be written by the songwriters Enya, Nicky Ryan, and Roma Shane Ryan from The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.
> 
> Leave a review and/or kudos to let me know what you thought. Obviously, Norse mythology is going to play a major role in this story so if any of you would like, I can always add a sort of “glossary” at the end of the chapters with the meaning and explanation behind some of the words and key figures. 
> 
> If any of you are into mythology as well, then please let me know. I’m always excited to talk with others who have similar interests.


End file.
